Social Media Setbacks and Stress

Hi.
Below is a quick rant on how I'm feeling regarding social media.
It is time consuming and I want out, but at the same time I love it.
Enjoy:

Here's the thing. I've been on social media a little over seven years. At first it was all for fun and games, a few years passed and I had gained some success, but honestly now I am at a total stand still.

I have been so busy with school and with the stress of trying to gain social media momentum when nothing is going annnyyywhereeee, I'm thinking what's the point?

Every year I have done a little segment called "The Birthday Chronicles" where I have made a birthday bucket list and posted everyday of me doing those things. This year that just didn't happen. I have been on and off of Instagram in the past few weeks as well.

There are pros and cons to this.

Pros being that I don't spend as much time mindlessly scrolling when I am bettering my time and that I like not being on my phone as much.

Cons? SO many unfortunate cons.

1. I'm constantly missing important messages that I need about photoshoot opportunities, monetized work related things, etc.
2. My engagement is going downnnnn, which obviously isn't ideal
3. This is my job, my instagram is my brand, my blog is my job, you get it. But if I don't put in the work how am I going to get anywhere?

 It's a constant cycle of just being screwed. I try, I really do, I do all the things that the business influencers say, I really try it all. And yet I get nowhere!

At this point it is a career question. Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? Do I need to highly maintain this platform in order to even get the career I desire?!

I'm taking a business of marketing class right now, and it's nothing but stress. Stressers include but are not limited to: how you have to be consistent, post everyday, have a super active social media presence, have the perfect business cards that will lead clients to the perfect website with a zillion other perfect social platforms.

When does it end? Is my social media presence not enough? Will I ever get hired? Why can't I just delete Instagram and live at peace with that and still get hired at the best summer internship in New York leading me to the best of the best career after I graduate?!

This is a rant. Obviously.

Who knows who will or will not see this, as it is my numbers are dropping so rapidly, where in the mix do I even care anymore? Oh right, because social media, my blog, youtube, instagram and all that is what I'm passionate about and what I love to do... right.

To whomever said, "Do what you love, then you'll never work a day in your life." That is a lie, I work and I work hard. It's frustrating, time consuming and draining, do I love it though? yes.

That's all for now.
Do you find yourself struggling to find the healthy balance of social media?